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"Fry, you idiot! Ever since I was abandoned on Earth I've been searching for who my people are and where they come from. Then I finally meet another Cyclops and you blast him. You wrecked my one chance to learn who I am!"
Leela

"A Bicyclops Built for Two" is 9th episode of Season 2 of Futurama. It originally aired in North America on March 13, 2000.

Plot[]

Professor Farnsworth brings good news for the crew: after several years of trying, he has finally logged onto the internet via AOL. The Planet Express Crew get into their net suits (which smell like burning Rhesus monkey) and visit the Internet in a virtual reality simulation. Pursued by predatory flying web-ads, the crew zooms off to safety in a virtual city. The porn and other enticements induce all of them to peel off singly and in bunches, even Zoidberg who is lured by promises of Sardine-On-Mackerel Action!!!

The crew get in line for adult chatrooms, where 2 children and 1 infant in line pose as men. Bender takes Fry to the "Filthy, Filthy Chat Room", where Bender disguises himself as a sexy nurse, charging a guy $9.95 a minute to talk. Disgusted by Fry and Bender, Leela and Amy go to the "Filthy Chat Room", populated entirely by lonely men. Leela appears, flexes, reveals she is a cyclops and is interested in meeting a man, and all the 'men' cringe away in horror, squeaking "A woman...I'm scared."

Thanks to the Internet, the crew have become bored with sex. All that remains is violence, and everyone indulges their lust for it, playing a full immersion first-person shooter, "Death Factory III, the legend of Death Factory II." Fry, an accomplished video game player, manages to defeat Amy, Hermes, Zoidberg, and another guy easily. The Professor signs on and tells everyone to sign off 3 times, but Fry, Leela, and Bender take turns dispatching him to finish the game. Leela defeats Bender be pushing him through a machine and into lava. As Fry and Leela are trying to get each other, Leela bumps into another cyclops and they form a bond just as Fry zaps him. Leela is furious that Fry has ruined her one chance to learn who she is. Fry is faking an apology just as he sneaks up on Leela and zaps her, winning the game.

After the game is over, Fry, Leela, and Bender are en route to deliver desperately needed popcorn to Cineplex 14 when Leela receives an email from Alcazar, the cyclops she met in the game, who invites her to his home. Leela dumps the popcorn and changes course to meet Alcazar and find her true home.

Alcazar greets Leela and her 'servants,' and introduces her to planet of Cyclopia in its ruins. Nearby is the "Forbidden Valley," where no one must go. At Alcazar's castle, he tells Leela the story of what happened to their people. He claims the eyeless Mole People of Subterra 3 launched missiles in every direction, hitting forty planets, including Cyclopia. Alcazar had been employed as a pool cleaner and was spared from the chaos while fishing out a dead possum. He also claims scientists managed to save one baby and sent her away in a rocket. Leela decides to help Alcazar save their race and sleeps with him.

The next morning, Alcazar changes and starts to behave exactly like Al Bundy of Married... with Children, and soon he's gotten Leela dressed like Peggy of the same show. She's even wearing high heels and mincing around like Peggy, and starts calling Alcazar "Al..." in that famous whiny tone. Much of the remaining dialogue for this episode is a series of put downs and cutting replies, in the classic Al/Peggy style. Despite Leela's earnest efforts to comply with Alcazar's many petty demands, he gratuitously insults her in front of his friends, Pig, Rat Man, and Rat Woman.

Fry doesn't trust Alcazar and attempts to visit the Forbidden Valley, only to fall down a trap door into the dungeon. He tells Leela that Alcazar is a jerk and is hiding something from her. Leela agrees, but she doesn't want to destroy the cyclops race by breaking up with him. After Alcazar makes her clean up a mess, she finally agrees to dump him at dinner. At dinner, as Leela is about to break up with Alcazar, he proposes to her, and she says yes despite wanting to dump him.

Later on, everyone else arrives for the wedding. Fry pleads with Leela to get him out of the dungeon, but she is busy with the wedding, so she gives Fry a bottle of champagne to be happy for her. He repeatedly hits the bottle against the door, which causes the cork to shoot off and hit the door release, opening it. Fry briefly celebrates before leaving the dungeon as the door is quickly lowering. As Fry emerges from the dungeon, he urges Bender to help investigate what makes the Forbidden Valley so forbidden, tempting him with the possibility of more stuff to steal. Bender, having already stolen a lot of things, overfilling his chest cabinet and a sack, replies, "I don't know, Fry. For the first time in my life, I feel like…I've stolen enough." Fry slaps him back to his senses and they head for the Forbidden Valley, just as the wedding is starting. There, they discover four identical castles, and another statue and mosaic art, both depicting 5 eyed aliens.

At the wedding, Alcazar rushes Preacherbot to get on with the wedding, even rushing Leela to say "I do" or otherwise. Before Leela can answer, Fry and the loot-stuffed Bender return with an Italian 5 eyed alien, a woman with a human upper body and rhinoceros lower body (named Sandy), a slim, purple alien, and a short, blue alien with multiple eyes, each the last female of their species. Alcazar tries to reason with the women, shape shifting each time to match their form. The women take turns beating him up and tell him to show his real form. After Leela kicks him into Alcazaer into a table, he reveals his true form to be a green cricket-like alien. Alcazar explains that he wanted to make it with five weirdos and have them scrub his five castles, then declares he only did what anyone would do, making Bender almost sob in sympathy. Leela asks Alcazar why he had all five weddings on the same day, to which he asks her if she has any idea what it costs to rent a tuxedo that changes shape. Leela also asks him if he could change form, why he didn't change it in "the one place that counts", with everyone else cheering and laughing. During their return to Earth, Leela sits sadly contemplating her yearning desire to her species, wondering how many planets there can be as she looks out at an infinity of passing stars.

Ongoing Themes[]

In this episode, the crew use their virtual reality equipment for the first time. This time they use it to access the Internet and play online video games. Leela becomes involved with Alcazar and almost marries him, although her relationship with him has little to do with love but more to do with loneliness and a desire to propagate her species. Fry tries to talk Leela out of the relationship, but his motives are pure: rather than just selfishly trying to keep Leela for himself, he sees that Alcazar is bad for Leela and genuinely wants her to be happy.

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