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" Aww, don't cry, foreign people. I used to work in a pizzeria, and as soon as I stop hallucinating and blasting puke, I'm gonna teach you to sell pizza - Earth style!"

Opening Sequence[]

Futurama logo with subtitle, Alienese and (often), cartoon.


A new pizza restaurant run by Cygnoids has moved in across the street from the Planet Express Building. Leela convinces the others that they should go to greet their new neighbors. They find that the Cygnoids have much to learn about Earth customs. Fry tries to help them get adjusted: first by giving them advice on how to make pizza such as not using live bees as an ingredient and then by suggesting that they learn how to play blernsball. The Planet Express Crew and the Cygnoids form teams and go to a blernsball diamond in a nearby park. While playing blernsball with the Cygnoids, Leela's lack of depth perception causes her to injure opposing players by beaning them in the head. This gains the notice of the owner of the struggling New New York Mets, Abner Doubledeal. He thinks having a one-eyed woman repeatedly bean opposing players would be a good novelty act that would increase attendance to the team's games, and she becomes the first female player to play professional blernsball. Leela sees herself as a pioneer for women in sports: however, other female players see her as an embarrassment and a joke because she is only able to hit batters and unable to get any outs. Leela is on the fast track to becoming the worst blernsball player ever and seeks help from Hank Aaron XXIV, a distant relative of Hank Aaron, who is currently the worst blernsball player of all time.

Leela, not wanting to be the worst blernsball player of all time, is delighted when she throws a strike to Hank Aaron after taking his advice. At the next blernsball game, the Cygnoids are selling their pizza in the stadium and their franchise is bought by Fishy Joe. Near the end of the game, Leela pleads to have the chance to prove she is not the worst blernsball player ever, explaining that she has been training with Hank Aaron. The skipper gives in and Leela is found facing the second woman to play in major league blernsball, Jackie Anderson. Anderson was also the woman who first told Leela that she (Leela) was making female athletes look bad. Leela throws two strikes, but on the third pitch Anderson hits a grand slam blern and wins the match.

Leela walks away, unhappy until Jackie tells her that Leela really was a role model after all, since she encouraged women to try harder than ever in order to prove that they weren't all like Leela. Meanwhile, at the blernsball museum, Hank Aaron XXIV sadly leaves his post as the worst blernsball player ever, now occupied by Leela, with the head of the original Hank Aaron consoling him by reminding him that he is still the worst football player ever.

Ongoing Themes[]

Death, near-death, mutilation[]

  • Countless blernsball players (including the Cygnoids) and the head of Bob Uecker are injured by Leela's pitches.
  • Leela accidentally punches Farnsworth in the face.
  • Jackie Anderson is hit by Leela's towel and gets a mouthful of sweat

Fry and Leela[]

Seeing Leela in her blernsball uniform, Fry asks permission to pat her on the butt. She gives him permission. The transaction seems not to hold any particular meaning to Leela (baseball players are known to pat each other on the butt), but Fry freaks out over it and can't go through with it.