- "I remember this from when we were kids: the warden would trot you out in front of prospective parents and they'd judge you like a piece of meat."
- "I'm Albert."
- "Kinda fatty."
Albert is an orphan at the Cookieville Minimum-Security Orphanarium. He is one of the orphans Bender Bending Rodríguez adopted for a short time in the episode The Cyber House Rules. He is then returned to the Orphanarium along with all of the other orphans adopted by Bender. Later, in the episode "Yo Leela Leela", he is part of the group of orphans who are adopted by Abner Doubledeal and the Tickleodeon corporation to run the reality television show of the Humplings.