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Hacking Jack is a man who owns Hacking Jack's Fine Smokables store. After Nixon gave everyone $300, Bender browses through Hacking Jack's various products. Bender notices the $10,000 Grand Cigar. Hacking Jack says it was made from a page of the U.S. constitution, and rolled by Queen Elizabeth II during her wild years. Bender offers him $300 for it, and after Hacking Jack refuses, purchases a burglary kit instead for $300, then inquiring as to what time the shop closes.

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