|“||I love it out here, Amy. I feel so manly. I have a blister, I-I spit! A-And of course, I tell no one my feelings, until I write them in my diary.||”|
–Kif Kroker in Where the Buggalo Roam
Lieutenant Kif Kroker (born November 17, 2976) is a recurring character on Futurama. He is an undisclosed Amphibiosan alien of light green color from the planet Amphibios 9. He is a member of the Democratic Order of Planets (DOOP), where he acts as lieutenant to the inept general Zapp Brannigan.
Though quiet and painfully bashful by nature, he loathes Zapp Brannigan and his farcical plans. He also dislikes his boss' skimpy uniforms, the contents of which are frequently revealed to the unfortunate Kif when Brannigan climbs ladders on their spaceship, the Nimbus. This passive nature is exploited by Brannigan on several occasions, placing the blame on Kif for disastrous operations such as the Titanic's change in course, the destruction of DOOP Headquarters, and the failure to stop the invading Decapodians from taking over Earth. He is actually tired of being Brannigan's personal slave but for some unknown reason, he does not even dare to say the word to his commanding officer. In fact, he does not even dare to stand up to Brannigan when he is being bullied by him. However, Kif showed himself taking a stand against Brannigan by punching him hard in the stomach in "The Beast With A Billion Backs" and even disobeying one of Brannigan's orders in "Into the Wild Green Yonder". He rarely drinks and smokes and when he is drunk he finds Brannigan's words to be extremely funny.
He is timid to all beings he meets, with the exception of Philip J. Fry, who is assigned to be his assistant when the Planet Express Crew was drafted into the "War" on Spheron 1. Years of abuse from Zapp most likely contributed to his hostile attitude since he finally had someone under him. He appears to be friends with Fry besides this incident.
He fell deeply in love with Amy Wong after they met on the sinking cruise ship the Titanic, but for a long time was unable to express his emotions to her. He would frequently call her on the phone, but he could never get himself to say hello, much less confess his love.
Eventually, his attractions for Amy are revealed to her and much to his surprise reciprocated. Later in the series his love for her becomes so strong she becomes his Smizmar. While the Smizmar is the one who inspires his breeding cycle, it is found out that Leela actually donated the DNA for his spawn, as evidenced by some of them having a single eye. However, in the same scene, some two-eyed spawn can also be seen accidentally knocking their heads together, which might hint at Amy's klutzy character and indicate that both Amy and Leela have donated DNA.
In "The Beast with a Billion Backs" he makes Amy his Fonfon Ru. He is unwilling to take her back after she slept with his commander Zapp Brannigan, noting facetiously that Fonfon Ru literally translates as "One who does not sleep with my commanding officer." He even stood up against Brannigan by punching him in the stomach to get back at him for causing Amy to allegedly cheat on him.
In the movie "Into the Wild Green Yonder", Kif along with many other main characters board the Planet Express Ship as it enters the Wormhole. Amy and Kif are seen hugging, this suggests that they got back together before Season 6, or at the very least still have feelings for each other.
Kif and Amy went through a rough patch in "Proposition Infinity", thanks to Kif's belief that she was only interested in "bad boys" and he eventually dumped her. She dated Bender Bending Rodríguez for the duration of this episode, but got together with Kif at the end.
Kif often cries when he is upset about something involving his love for Amy.
In "The Butterjunk Effect", Amy was addicted on Nectar and constantly abuses Kif who sadly doesn't seem to mind. He became upset whenever he saw Amy kissing Fry. In the end however, he forgives her after Amy apologizes to him after quitting her Nectar addiction, knowing it was the Nectar that made her attracted to Fry.
According to Kif in the episode "Where the Buggalo Roam", he doesn't have a skeleton of bones. Rather, he's supported by a system of fluid-filled bladders. An example of such is the episode "Rebirth" where the rest of the dead crew is seen having skeletons (except for Bender) and his body only has organs.
He has a camouflage reflex that allows him to unconsciously blend into his surroundings when he is surprised and can also walk on walls and ceilings.
Kif has the ability to shed his skin and appears to wear underwear between his layers of skin, as seen in the episode "Three Hundred Big Boys".
Kif can also inflate his head to an extremely large size to scare off creatures like the Poisonous Froad, as seen in "Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch". It also can release a buzzing sound akin to a doorbell as seen in "The Butterjunk Effect".
Kif says he is related to the sea-cucumber in an argument with Amy, who replies "Not where it counts."
Kif has three nipples, as seen in the episode "Amazon Women in the Mood".
- On the commentary for "Amazon Women in the Mood", Matt Groening states that Kif Kroker is based on 'an annoyed Mr. Spock'.
- Kif has shown incredible fighting skills as shown while fighting the Spiderians in "Three Hundred Big Boys".
- Kif Kroker is the character who has appeared substantially in the most episodes besides the Crew.
- Maurice LaMarche stated that Kif's voice is a combination of Jon Lovitz and Truman Capote.
- Kif is featured on one of the discs of The Complete Collection 1999-2009.
- Although Kif is somewhat like an amphibian, he is apparently capable of growing stubble.
- Kif has no bones, but is supported by a system of fluid filled bladders.
- Can walk on walls and ceilings.
- Has a camouflage reflex which turns him almost transparent.
- He loses control of this reflex when he becomes nervous.
- Is actually a highly competent crewman, as evidenced during his brief stint with Planet Express and in an episode between him and Fry.
- Is a skilled combatant, as he can hit two spiders with a giant double-headed fly swat.
- Is a great karaoke singer, in particular Total Eclipse Of The Heart, due to his time in the DOOP Boys' Chorus.
- Was killed twice and has been resurrected by Yivo and the birthing machine.
- When he is really sick and/or has a hangover, he actually becomes liquid.
- He is a good yet unusual breakdancer.
- Was shortly promoted to a Captain in the Democratic Order of Planets.
- Lacks a penis, but still wears usual human underwear.
- "Love's Labours Lost in Space"
- "A Flight to Remember"
- "When Aliens Attack"
- "Brannigan, Begin Again"
- "The Problem with Popplers"
- "Anthology of Interest I"
- "War is the H-Word"
- "Amazon Women in the Mood"
- "Where The Buggalo Roam"
- "Future Stock"
- "Kif Gets Knocked Up A Notch"
- "Love and Rocket"
- "A Taste of Freedom"
- "Where No Fan Has Gone Before"
- "Three Hundred Big Boys"
- "Proposition Infinity"
- "The Late Philip J. Fry"
- "That Darn Katz!"
- "Lrrreconcilable Ndndifferences"
- "Ghost in the Machines"
- "Cold Warriors"
- "A Farewell to Arms"
- "Zapp Dingbat"
- "The Butterjunk Effect"
- "T.: The Terrestrial"
- "The Inhuman Torch"
- "Saturday Morning Fun Pit"