The Planet Express crew's latest mission is to deliver a crate to Professor Farnsworth's office at Mars University. While touring the campus, Bender comes across a chapter of his old fraternity, Epsilon Rho Rho (ERR). The nerdy fraternity brothers beg Bender for his help in the art of being cool, as "We're the lamest frat on campus! Even Hillel has better parties than us!" Meanwhile, when Fry reveals to Leela and the Professor that he went to college but dropped out, they explain to Fry that being a 20th/21st-century college dropout is the academic equivalent to a mere high school dropout in the 31st-century. Learning this, Fry vows to enroll and drop out all over again. Later, in a scene straight from Animal House, Bender and the Robot House boys climb a ladder to peek in a girls' dorm room window (in reality, they're only trying to see one of the girls' computers as it malfunctions, which for Bender and the nerds is a major turn-on). A risqué mishap happens when Bender's extendable eyes causes them to fall. The accident crushes Snooty House's servants' quarters and presumably the servants themselves (one of the members says, "I say, you've damaged our servants' quarters...and our servants").
Fry gets a room in the financial aid dorm and finds his roommate, Guenter, an intelligent monkey wearing an undersized hat. The Professor enters and reveals that Guenter was the contents of the crate and that the electronium hat is the source of Guenter's intelligence. Bender and the Robot House members get called before Dean Vernon, who places them on dodecatuple secret probation and have to run out after Fatbot eats the Dean's model ship (Fatbot explains that he gets hungry when he's nervous and/or scared). At the parents' reception, in retaliation for Guenter's constant bullying and condescending attitude towards him, Fry humiliates Guenter by releasing Guenter's unintelligent, feral parents from their cage. Later, Guenter expresses his unhappiness in his current life. At the 20th-century history exam, the stress finally becomes too much for him and he tosses the hat aside, jumps out the window, and flees into the Martian jungle. While the Professor, Fry, and Leela head off into the jungle to find Guenter, Robot House enters the fraternity raft regatta in a bid to lift their probation status. When Guenter's found, the Professor offers him the hat while Fry offers him a banana.
Before Guenter can decide, Robot House speeds past with Bender on water skis. The boat's wake drags the humans into the river and towards a waterfall. Guenter puts the hat on and rescues them, but falls off a cliff. The Planet Express Crew believes him to be dead and go to "gather him up." They find, however, that the hat broke his fall and is now only working at half-capacity. Guenter announces that he likes the new reduced-capacity hat and that he's decided to transfer to business school, to the horror of Professor Farnsworth. Robot House wins the regatta and a parade in their honor is held, led by an unhappy Dean Vernon. The episode ends with a party at Robot House and an epilogue shown in the style of "Animal House" and "American Graffiti" where captions explain that Fry successfully dropped out of college and returned to Planet Express, Guenter went to business school to get his MBA and became The FOX Network's latest CEO, Fat-Bot caught a virus in Tijuana and had to be rebooted, Leela went on a date with Dean Vernon (and Vernon never called her again), and with his task done, Bender stole everything of value from Robot House and ran off.