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"Oh, you're both pathetic, being jealous of your own offspring. Now you should be happy they became successes, instead of following in your foot stamps."
"Oh, it's true. But they grow up so fast. We just wanted a few more years of being better than them."
"They're so stinking talented, they don't even need their fathers anymore."

"The Route of All Evil" is the 44th. episode of Futurama. It first aired on the Fox Network on December 8, 2002.

Opening Sequence[]

Futurama logo with subtitle, Alienese and (often), cartoon.


Act I: "My manwich!"[]

While searching for the right beer to drink, Fry, Leela, and Bender decide to homebrew within Bender. Back at Planet Express, Cubert and Dwight were suspended from boarding school for salting Brett Blob when he shoved their lunches into a miniature black hole they made. They amuse themselves by using Hermes' power stamper, forcing him to stamp "VOID" on everything it stamped as tax exempt, and then use the Professor's voice changer to send the crew off on a bogus pizza delivery to Dogdoo 8 at the edge of the universe. But the universe ends at Dogdoo 7, which they realize a week later. Leela breaks their video game and their fathers order them to get jobs. Dwight and Cubert decide to form a newspaper delivery service called Awesome Express. Their fathers jest at their efforts and beat up their sign.

Act II: "The edge of the universe is at Dogdoo 7!"[]

Awesome Express Logo

The Awesome Express logo

The duo order an easy-to-construct ship that moves via pedaling. They soon make so much money off their deliveries that they make more money than Planet Express. But their fathers refuse to say anything. Depressed, they decide to get back at them through plan Dwight Lightning; they offer the crew a better deal and pay, and soon find that the Professor declared himself dead three years ago as a tax dodge when he took a nap in the park. Because of this technicality, Cubert inherits the company and renames it Awesome Express; they also fire Hermes and the Professor.

Act III: "Can we leave this mess behind us?"[]

Bender soon gives "birth" to his beer, named BenderBrau. At that moment, calls start coming in that people haven't gotten their paper delivered in a long time as Dwight and Cubert dumped all of them in a crater on the moon. Panicking, they go to their fathers, who were staying at Hermes', disappointed as they wanted a few more years of being better than their sons. They see another chance and help their sons deliver all the papers with the Planet Express Ship. The last house was Brett's, where they broke his window during their business. The fathers had them go to apologize but Brett's father refuses their apology and the fathers get into a fight in which the humans are severely injured. Later, in a hospital, Brett's father comes to apologize. They drink BenderBrau together as Brett ingests Cubert and Dwight.

Ongoing Themes[]

Injury, Dismemberment[]

  • On learning that one can brew one's own beer, Bender's head disconnects and springs away to crash somewhere off-screen.
  • Dwight and Cubert salt Brett into a gelatinous puddle that vows revenge.
  • Cubert and Hermes are stamped "tax exempt" by a runaway stamping machine. Hermes stamps himself "VOID" but lapses in his role as company bureaucrat in failing to so stamp Cubert.
  • The delivery container for his spaceship strikes Cubert in the head, sending him bodily flying across the room.
  • A dog in a space-helmet is eaten alive by an asteroid monster while chasing Dwight and Cubert on their paper route.
  • Bender, Fry, and Leela watch a TV commercial in which a person loudly burns to death.
  • Hermes shoots Le Petit Prince in the face with a newspaper, knocking him off his asteroid into empty space.
  • H.G. Blob ingests Farnsworth and Hermes after beating them so severely that they next appear in the hospital trauma center in body casts and traction.
  • Bret Blob ingests Dwight and Cubert.


  • Bender serves as the machinery for the brewing operation.
  • Leela's Wrist LoJack-a-mater serves as a telephone.
  • Dwight and Cubert impersonate Farnsworth using his voice changer invention.

Character Arcs[]

Sal's speech impediment has leveled off for quite some time now. Any time he speaks, his disorder is obvious, but it is still not too hard to understand him.

Hermes and Zoidberg[]

Hermes tells Dwight that his delivery company isn't a real company, because Dwight doesn't have "one of those things", referring to Zoidberg. This is quite a compliment coming from anyone, but from Hermes in particular, with his obvious, thinly-veiled Zoidberg-issues, it is astounding. Hermes must have found some good herb.


"Cursed bacteria of Liberia!"
"Sweet guinea pig of Winnipeg!"