- "This chronological wang-dang-doodle could destroy the very matrix of reality."
- ―Ethan "Bubblegum" Tate
Plot
The crew of Planet Express is relaxing near Central Park Lake when suddenly a U.F.O lands in the park. Members of the Harlem Globetrotters step out of the vessel, and their leader, Ethan "Bubblegum" Tate challenges Earth to a basketball tournament "for no reason," and with "nothing at stake, beyond the shame of defeat".
Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth accepts the challenge with his team of mutant Atomic Supermen, who're unfortunately, currently "superboys". In order to speed up their growth he orders the Planet Express crew to pick up chronitons, which destroyed an entire civilization from the Tempest Nebula.
In the nebula, it's obvious the harvest is causing some sort of tear in space, but the crew pay no attention to it. Fry tries get Leela to go on a date with him by showing her that his face can survive decompression multiple times. She simply tells him to cool his jets, literally since his jet pack was melting Bender's face.
When the crew returns to Earth, Farnsworth notes they got back "none too soon" since while they were gone the Globetrotters held a news conference stating he was a "jive sucker", and feeds the mutant boys the chronitons. The results are immediate, and drastic. They all age into adults; Grotrian grows to nearly double normal human height, Armo gets three extra arms, Thorias gets a cannon in his chest, Arachneon turns into a human/spider hybrid, and Lazar the ability to shoot energy beams from his eyes. Farnsworth rejoices at his creations; Amy flirts with the spider superman.
In Madison Cube Garden, the game begins, with Marv Albert's head as the commentator, who thinks it "promises to be a by-the-numbers athletic competition with no surprises whatsoever."
By halftime, the score is Globetrotters: 42 Supermen: 48, and Albert again notes how dull this showdown is. The game resumes shortly after, but suddenly there's a flash, and everyone is in different places. After another flash occurs, Farnsworth calls a time-out and, realizing time is skipping ahead, assumes his use of chronitons is ripping the seams of time and space.
The mutant with the chest canon panics hearing this and fires accidentally, pulverizing his human/spider team member. Wanting to impress Leela, Fry offers to take the dead mutant's place, noting that they are 35 points ahead with two minutes left in the game, so there's no way putting him in would cause a problem. Unfortunately, there's another time skip, and they find themselves at the end of the game; the Globetrotters win 244 to 86. Albert finishes with the comment that it's a dark day for humanity; losing in basketball. The Globetrotters gloat and Leela notes that she doesn't know what Fry did during the time skip, but thanks to him all the other planets will be cracking wise about their mamas. Hermes breaks down in tears, thankful his "fat, ugly mama isn't alive to see this day."
However, despite the apparently severe humiliation, Farnsworth immediately reminds everyone that the time skips are far more serious. Tate offers his assistance since he's the senior lecturer in physics at Globetrotter U. After some techobabble, it is concluded that the universe is doomed unless something is done soon. They are forced to leave the stadium when a time-skip puts them in the path of a charging elephant, part of the circus that takes place the day after the game.
Back in the Planet Express building, time skips are becoming more frequent, and oddly plot/humor relevant. Farnsworth observes that people act normally during the time skips, but end up having no memory of what they did. Bender starts sucking up to Tate hoping to become a Globetrotter.
Fry continues to try and romance Leela, stating a romantic bed in a closet is a time-proof shelter "cause when we're together in here, baby, time will stand still". Time skips and it's apparent she hit him and refused to join him in bed. Leela later complains about Fry's many flaws to Zoidberg, but due to a skip it is not shown. Zoidberg guesses it was boring anyways since after the skip he was watching Television while Leela talked. Leela summarizes that while she likes Fry's kindness, and boyish charm, his immaturity is far too annoying. Zoidberg simply says, "you don't wanna end up old and lonely like Zoidberg", and breaks down in tears, but immediately recovers his composure.
Meanwhile, using the Smell-O-Scope, Farnsworth has located "time leaks" in the Tempest Nebula. He surmises that when the crew removed the chronitons, it destabilized the nebula, disrupting time throughout the universe. Tate summarizes that when the nebula bounces time particles on matter, bouncing basketballs on Benders head as an analogy, it causes dents, or time skips. He realizes that diverting a bunch of stars could redirect the time particles to the empty side of the universe via their gravity. Unfortunately, such an undertaking would take all of Earth's money, and months to build and install on the Planet Express ship. Thanks to convenient skips however, it all gets done in seconds of perceived time.
Fry and Leela's wedding
Near the nebula, we see Leela moving the last sun into position, surrounding the nebula with a circle of suns, and apparently stopping the skips. Fry congratulates her with a moderately priced, domestic, non-vintage champagne, and showers her with compliments in his quest to get a date, but she still refuses. With advice from Tate he tries again by showing her he learned how to operate the Planet Express ship. This does impress her, but also makes her utterly exasperated, and forces her to state in certain terms that "they'll never ever..." but time skips interrupt her and the two find themselves married.
An angry Leela accuses Fry of tricking her into marriage, but neither has any idea how this happened. Fry denies being capable of such things, and makes a heartfelt speech about giving the marriage a chance. One skip later finds them divorced. A heartbroken Fry first tries to figure out what exactly he did to win Leela's heart.
Farnsworth determines that Tate's math was utter nonsense since chronitons can't be moved. Meanwhile, time skips are getting worse with isolated areas moving forward decades. Luckily, the skips allows him and the best minds in the universe, which happen to be the Globetrotters, to come up with another solution quickly. Farnsworth suggests destroying entire nebula but Curly Joe states that it would take out half the universe. Sweet Clyde suggests that they implode the nebula into a black hole, to prevent more chronitons from escaping. Tate hesitates, noting they'll need a Doomsday Device to pull off something like that, but the Professor simply responds by pulling six devices out from his collection, musing he could part with one and still be feared. Tate, elated, makes everyone in the room honorary Globetrotters, but, to his chagrin, Bender isn't there. In a final act of desperation Bender pleads with Tate before they leave, but is forced to admit he's not funky enough to be a Globetrotter.
Back at the nebula, a heartbroken Bender sets the doomsday device, and a heartbroken Fry apologizes for the possibility that he tricked Leela into a marriage, since he still doesn't know what happened. Leela tries to cheer him up, stating they'll always be friends, but it doesn't work, so she tries again by letting Fry move the ship to a safe distance while she preps the doomsday detonator.
At the helm, Fry realizes he previously moved the stars to spell "I LOVE YOU, LEELA" as an ultimate declaration of love. That was the thing that finally won Leela's heart. Unfortunately, the implosion device sucks up all the stars a few seconds later. A frantic Fry asks Leela if she saw "it", but unfortunately she didn't. A depressed Fry simply says, "it" was nothing, and the credits roll.
Quotes
Fry: So, Leela, how about a romantic ride in one of those swan boats? They're kinda dangerous but I finally mastered them.
Leela: Those aren't swan boats, they're swans.
Fry: Oh. That explains these boat eggs.
Trivia
- The title references a line from "Fly Like an Eagle" by the Steve Miller Band: "Time keeps on slippin'...into the future".
- Various elements of the story, a challenge from extraterrestrial basketball players, growth of mutant basketball players, parody the film Space Jam, in which Billy West voiced Bugs Bunny. The song "Fly Like an Eagle" was featured in the movie.
- The Globetrotters' saucer looks identical to the one Klaatu lands on Earth in the classic 1950s sci-fi movie The Day the Earth Stood Still.
- The Globetrotter named "'Curly' Joe" is a dual reference to real Harlem Globetrotter Fred "Curly" Neal and to Joe DeRita, who was one of The Three Stooges from the late 1950s into the 1970s, and was called "Curly-Joe" to distinguish him from the original "Curly," Jerome Howard.
- In a previous episode, A Fishful of Dollars, Professor Farnsworth states he was called mad because he "dared to dream of my own race of atomic monsters, atomic supermen".
- The nuclear mutant with a chest-mounted cannon backs up Farnsworth's claim made in the episode "Put Your Head on My Shoulder" that he could graft a cannon on Fry's chest, to "crush those who disobey him".
- The mutant with the dark skin and yellow hair is modeled after Dennis Rodman, according to the audio commentary.
- The Professor throws, or, at least, attempts to throw, a folding chair onto the court. This references former Indiana basketball coach Bob Knight throwing a chair in a fit of rage during a 1985 game against Purdue.
- The concept of a peculiar time distortion is the main plot of the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode We’ll Always Have Paris.
- Fry wants to be put in the game to show Leela his skills; Professor Farnsworth replies: "Hmm. Will said skills pay the bills?". This references the song "Skills To Pay The Bills" off of The Beastie Boys 1999 album, The Sounds of Science; the album is itself a reference to the Simon and Garfunkel song "The Sounds of Silence". The Beastie Boys appeared in the earlier episode, Hell Is Other Robots.
- The song Bender whistles at the end is Sweet Georgia Brown, which is the theme song of the Harlem Globetrotters. It can also be heard when their spaceship first lands.
- The check for "All the Earth's Money" has question marks for the date.
- Wendy is a reference to Britney Spears.
Goofs
Debut Appearances
- Arachneon
- Curly Joe
- Ethan 'Bubblegum' Tate
- Armo
- Grotrian
- Marv Albert's head
- Lazar
- 'Sweet' Clyde Dixon
- Thorias
Footnotes